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  • Writer's pictureCarrie

One Foot In Front Of The Other


Today was the day I was forced to take the first step towards protecting myself. I had started meeting with attorneys. I had no idea what would make a good attorney and was terrified of handing over my life, our children and my financial future to someone I did not know.

My friends had rallied together and got me into consults with various attorneys. A good friend of mine would check the court databases to see how many actual divorce cases they had tried in the last year. If I had to choose blindly at least I had people who were there to assist me with making the most educated decision I could. My support system had widened and no one wanted to see myself or Greyson and Hadley hurt in the crossfire. They wrapped as much protective armor around us as they could. For that level of support, I will be forever grateful.

The first attorney treated it like a cattle herding process. Everything was rushed. I did not leave feeling confident that he would best represent my interests.

I went to the second attorney meeting I had set up. I had no idea what to expect. But when I arrived at his office and was told he was cash or check and he doesn't do email, I assumed he would be older and not as up on the real world.

Surprisingly, an attorney who is close to my age appeared. His name was Mr. Checkmate. He earned that name because everyone I spoke with claimed that is what he does, he puts the spouse in check. He wasn't old and stodgy. Just kicking it old school. I laughed as we walked back to his office and shared my preconceived notion of him. He got quite the chuckle out of that. It was the first time I had laughed in days. He immediately put me at ease.

Mr. Checkmate thoroughly explained the process. I was nervous about him upfront because of his reputation but something kept telling me he was the only person suited for this job. Little did either of us know just how cumbersome this job would prove to be.

The consultation ran over by another 40 minutes. I apologized and offered to pay for more time. He said it takes as long as it takes don't worry about it. Surprisingly, it was that last 40 minutes that was illuminating. I explained how fearful I was by all the accusations being hurled at me by Mr. Genius. He was vocally claiming emotional and verbal abuse to everyone who would listen. Irrespective of the fact that it was unfounded and completely false. He stopped me and asked who his attorney was and I told him. He knew him and I am guessing the MO sounded too much like Mr. Genius's attorneys fingerprint. He then asked if Mr. Genius had tried to get me to go to counseling to “work on myself?” Yes Yes Yes! He quickly said do not go. They will subpoena your counseling records to use against you. Furthermore, do not take any prescription medication. This will build his case against you. Against you... Those words stung. We had always been a team or so I had thought.

I left attorney number 2's office feeling a little better but still not ready to commit to anyone. The word commitment stung as it hung in my head. I realized I may never know commitment again. Hell, I may never had known it. I still had 6 more meetings scheduled before deciding on who would end our story.

My day ended in defeat. He had the jump on this. He planned this. He knew I would be left scrambling. Or maybe he just hoped I would roll over?

Everyone was struggling except Mr. Genius. He set us up like dominoes and was revering in the ability to watch them all tumble...


Disclaimer...Two Divorced Girls is intended to share our experiences in the hope of saving others pain and misery.  We are not doctors.  We are not lawyers. We are not providing professional advice.  If you need professional help, you won't find this here and please look elsewhere. By using this site you  agree not to rely on us for those services that can only be provided by licensed professionals.

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