Let's bring my story back around to the beginning again ...
Peace for your spirit. You found it, right? You're ready to hear the next bit of the story.
So those moments of peace that came on the hotter than a blue blazes patio have now given way for the reality to set in. My husband is having an affair. Maybe it's not turned physical yet, maybe it has. I don't really care, there is another woman's va-jay-jay on my husband's phone. I have to confront him - but how in the world am I gonna do that?
Football. He'll be distracted by football and it'll be less, I don't know .. insanely weird to ask my husband why he has a photo of another woman's hoo-ha on this phone. I mean, that's a totally football related question. So I go downstairs where he is watching a pretty big game, and it goes a little something like this,
Me: "So, when I was looking at the text from Lucy to try to find out where to go a couple weeks ago, I saw a pic of her va-jay-jay. Can you tell me what's goin' on there."
Mr Unzipped: (with an oh shit look on his face - and a stutter the size of Texas) "We were talking about vacation and things got out of hand. I don't know how to explain it. It's nothing."
We didn't discuss anything. I talked, he listened. I told him how the next bit was gonna go. He continued to blow it off like it was just the bad ending to a text that got out of hand. This woman is our friend - or she was. She is married. She pretends to be a proper southern lady. Now, I know that proper southern ladies do some pretty crazy stuff, because I am one, but the right kind of lady doesn't send pics of her vagina anywhere. ever. I explained that he needed to stop talking to her, block her and take a break from whatever in the sam hill was goin on there. He agreed.
I sent Lucy Goosey a text the next morning telling her that my husband wouldn't be texting her anymore, she could find someone else to help with her issues - whatever they might be. She sent me back a sappy text that said she "respected my marriage" and was "sorry for what happened" and "it was totally wrong", the whole thing "got out of hand" and she should have never done that. Ya think Mrs Lucy Goosey?!
Long story short .. that didn't work. He lied. again. They didn't text anymore that I could see, but they just emailed and met for lunches. I know because I heard through the grapevine about it. Southern ladies talk y'all! So as much as we think we can do, we really can't make anyone do what they don't want to do. He was going to continue his quasi-affair however he wanted. I don't know if it ever went physical, and I don't care. I just knew that nothing was ever going to be the same again.
I was anything but peaceful after that conversation. I was a full-on hot mess. LET YOURSELF BE A HOT MESS!
Maybe you wanna hear that I rocked this out and it was no big deal. That isn't what happened. But, the cool thing is that it made me totally nuts for a few more hours that night, and then a few the next day after I had the text conversation with Lucy Goosey. And after both confrontations, I was able to find my peace. I spent time with myself. I spent time on the blazin' patio, and in prayer. I found myself cycling through the whole thing from madder than a wet hen, to sad and crying several more times over the next week or two. You don't just confront them, or realize your marriage is over and then immediately land in your happy place. It doesn't work that way, and there is no way I'm going to tell you it does. The cycle of sorrow and pain lasts awhile. And it comes and goes even today sometimes. But the key to the whole thing is that you cannot let it take you down with it.
You've got to work on finding the peace and being able to call it up when you need it. I promise it works with other things too .. when your teenager is teenager-ing, when your toddler is throwing a fit in the middle of an upscale boutique, or when you can't find that doohickey you put where you would remember so you didn't lose it. So, I cannot stress enough how important getting a handle on your emotions and finding your peace is in this process.
Tell me about where you find your peace in the comments ..
Harper ❤
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