"Want to met me downstairs for breakfast?"
"Definitely. Give me 20 minutes."
"See you there."
Sitting across the table from a man who wants me and is interested in me feels fantastic.I'm glad I made the choice I did to sleep alone, but I'm rethinking the choice when I am talking to him at breakfast. I wish we'd have slept wrapped up next to each other so I could get every minute out of our time. I don't want to leave this morning .. but I have places to be and he has cows to take care of, and fields to manage. We have breakfast, there is easy chatting, a recap of the previous night and a plan to do a repeat performance in the near future .. and then there is some making out as we pack to leave the parking lot. I feel wanted and cared for, and good about myself .. which I haven't felt in quite a long time.
I certainly don't NEED his validation that I am an attractive woman with wonderful things to offer, but I crave it. I don't get anything positive at home. The sad fact is that Mr Unzipped hasn't been complimentary, or even nice to me in what really amounts to years. I am ripe for someone to sweep me off my feet, and I know it. I am working hard to not fall into that trap of the first good thing is the bees knees, but it's hard. It was hard for me, and it will be hard for you. Why do you think so many people fall into that 'wire me money' scam with people in far away countries? As humans we have a need to feel wanted and loved. Just be careful with jumping into something right away. Be cautious, follow your gut and be sure to check in with your besties. They love you more than you love yourself sometimes, and they want what's best for you.
On my way home, I try to remember the moments, the firsts, the adventure of the whole thing. I think about what all just happened, and how I'll manage to get enough time with him. I wonder if my children will like him. I try to imagine what will happen next. It's amazing the dreaming you can do and how good it feels to have something positive to focus on when your world seems to be crashing down around you. I talk to Mr Knight as I drive home and we both want to turn around and do that whole thing again, but we have to wait for next time.
I'm still apprehensive about this whole dating thing. But it's off to a good start. I don't know what will come next, and frankly, I'm not sure what SHOULD come next. I know I cannot wait to hang out with this man again, and I also know that I have to go back to the house I am still sharing with my future ex-husband, Mr Unzipped. We continue to try to work out the plan for the future, and I'll work harder to get him out of my house so that I can have daily peace. We are currently screaming at one another at every moment of the day it seems, unless we aren't speaking at all, which is much preferred. We've already filed for divorce, now we just have to figure out how to move forward. Dipping my toes in dating is just one step that keeps me moving forward and reminds me that I'm a woman, and Mr Unzipped should get ready to hear me ROAR.
Harper ❤
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